Home | Help in an emergency | Guide: Help options for relatives with mental health problems
In a difficult mental phase, we can be plagued by feelings of overwhelm, extreme despair and suicidal thoughts. You can support loved ones in such a phase.
It is perfectly normal to worry or feel anxious when a loved one is going through a difficult mental phase in life. A mental health crisis can severely restrict daily life. The stress can sometimes become so extreme that it can trigger thoughts of self-harm or suicide. However, this does not necessarily apply to everyone.
The first step in being there for someone is to always remember that this person did not choose these circumstances.
Therefore:
A mental health crisis is never the fault of the person affected.
Another important point is to recognise when you should offer help and to know how to recognise such a crisis.
The following points can be signs that someone is experiencing a mental health crisis:
Here you will find tips from experts on how you can support the people around you when they are going through a difficult phase:
If someone in your life is thinking about hurting themselves or others, or if you are seriously concerned about their health and well-being, you can help by contacting a crisis counsellor.
It can be a great help because they are trained in it:
You can call the following numbers Further contact points by telephone reach:
It is advisable to help the sufferer find a distracting activity that creates some mental distance from the source of the suffering and helps them to stay in the present.
You can try the following simple ideas:
However, there is no universal solution, so it is advisable to ask the people themselves what would be good for them at that moment. If they say they don't know, it's okay to make suggestions - or ask them if it might be better to just sit and talk.
Instead of assuming that you know what people need or feel, ask them.
The following questions might help:
Note:
Remember that sometimes it is difficult to know what might help at the time because of the stress involved, so you may not get an answer straight away.
It may feel scary to bring up the topic of suicide, but you should ask yourself if the loved one has ever thought about ending their life. The idea that talking about suicide can increase the risk of a suicide attempt is just a myth. In fact, experts have found that talking about suicide can both reduce suicidal thoughts and improve mental wellbeing.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) recommends saying something along the lines of:
"When people go through what you're going through and are dealing with such intense emotional pain, they sometimes think about suicide. Has that ever crossed your mind?"
If you ask this question, the person concerned will know that they can talk to you about their suicidal thoughts without hesitation.
Just listening to a loved one talk about their experiences without judgement is supportive. You could start a conversation by saying, "I've noticed [some behaviour from XYZ] recently and I just want to make sure you're okay because I know you've been through a lot recently. How are you feeling?"
Then give them your undivided attention and leave space for the unpleasant emotions they are struggling with (e.g. "crying is okay"). Even if your gut reaction is to try to solve the problem or cheer the other person up, this may unintentionally invalidate their feelings. However, you can help normalise the person's experience by offering affirming statements such as "It makes sense that you feel overwhelmed" or "That sounds really stressful".
If your relative already has a therapist, you can encourage them to turn to them in a crisis. If they don't have a therapist yet, help them find one. You can search the internet for counselling or therapies.
They can also help drive the patient to the appointment or take care of childcare if this is an obstacle. They can also help find support groups. These can also be found online.
It's important to stay in touch with someone going through a mental health crisis - not only to watch for signs of suicidal or self-harm thoughts, but also to remind them that they are important.
Already a quick call or message saying "Hey, I was thinking about you today, how are you?" can go a long way. You can build a network of support for the person concerned by encouraging other friends and family members to reach out - especially on days when you know you won't have the opportunity to do so.
If the relative has suicidal thoughts, it is okay to visit the emergency departments of hospitals and clinics with the person's consent. But also in special cases, without consent and clear signs, it is okay to alert the police or ambulance. However, calling the police during a mental health crisis can be traumatic in some cases (especially for people who belong to disadvantaged groups).
Modified after Strong, Rebecca (2022). www.businessinsider.de/leben
(Reviewed by Aaron Sternlicht, LMHC, MS, CASAC, a therapist and addiction specialist, and Family Addiction Specialist in New York, NY.)
Important:
If you have suicidal thoughts yourself, you can get help immediately and at any time.
Free of charge and anonymous you can call the counselling hotline at
+49 800 1110111.
Study Service Centre
+49 3631 420-222
House 18, Level 1, Room 18.0105